Weird funny stories

Well, my name's Hannah and these are a few of the many strange things i do and say. My friends think i belong in a mental hospital, but so do they. I hope that i humor you with these interesting little stories!

Chapter 1

chaptero uno


Her: sticks tongue out
Me: You know I can see ur thumb, I mean finger!
Her: laughs
Me: while laughing I mean tongue.
(I get tongue twisted a lot.)



In the dream I was babysitting some people and the kids ran away to the zoo, so i had to chase them, and the closest zoo to us is a 2 hr drive. So, we got back and the parents got home, and then, everyone turned into cookie people, and we were trying to run away from the ogres by climbing a rope ladder onto a cliff, which for some bizarre reason the ogres couldn't climb. Then, I woke up.


I was in my Nana's living room w/ my fam and we were supposed to be quiet. I was bored so I placed my pointer fingers on my cheeks and smiled at my sis. Then, my mom looked at me, so I pretended to scratch with those 2 fingers on my cheeks. She gave me a weird look.


I was at choir and my choir director, Mr. Minor (yes that's his real name) was saying that the soprano's sounded like this, and he placed his fists together softly and said "Squeak. Squeak." Me and my friend Jenna were mimicking him and ended up pounding our fists together.

Jenna: This looks so wrong!
Me: Ya! It's like we r killing mice! Die vermin! Die!
Then we burst out laughing.


I was walking into the choir room and ran into Mr. Minor. I said the 1st thing that came to my mind which was, "Wow ur tall!" Which is totes obvious since he is almost 7 ft! Jenna gave me a hard time about that.


Here is a little tip for my readers: DO NOT PLAY WITH STAPLERS! They are dangerous! I stapled my finger about a year ago. The day before going into 7th grade. I could see the staple from the other side! (Don't worry I was more shocked than in pain and have fully recovered.)


My friend, Brianna and i were talking.

Bri: My grandpa used to have a bunch of pigs on his farm.
Me: Oink! Oink!
Bri: And a cow, but the cow died.
Me: Moo! Moo!
Bri: Dead Cows don't moo, Hannah.
Me: Frowns Oh.
Her: He also had an emu.
Me: Emu! Emu! Emu!

Then she gave me i weird look and we started to laugh like the weirdos we r!


Here is a little skit that me and my bestest bestie wrote. It is called Germbusters, and yes i know we r weird.

Both: Germbusters! You r a probable contamination. Prepare to be decontaminated.

(We go to the desk. She sits in chair while wiping at the desk w/ rag. Phone rings. I answer.)

Me: Hello. Yes, this is the germbusters. Okay. We r on our way. (Hangs up and slams fists on table.) Theres been a code 246.
Her: (looks up shocked.) You don't mean?
Me: Yes. Someone sneezed on a window.
Her: Gasps Well, what r we waiting 4? Let's go!

(Scene change. We r in the living room. A pic we drew of a little green monster is taped to the window.)

Me: There it is!
Her: Who would do something like this?

(Her little bro, evan, pops up)

Him: Me!
Me and alex: It's the probable contamination!
Me: You take the kid. I'll take the sneeze.

(I wipe the paper down w/ a broom and she used a rag to wipe evans face.)

Him: (Slowly walking away) I'll be back! Snottier than ever!
Her: We did it again.
Me: No germ can defeat us!
Both: Germbusters!



I ran into a metal pole. In the middle of the hallway. I turned my head to say hi to someone.


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