Writing Faux Pas: The Dos and Don'ts

Let's face it: we've all read at least one story here that was, well, sub-par. Be it horrible grammar or no plot line, there can be some cringe-worthy moments on sites like these. So let's take a look, shall we?

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I'm not referring to specific people or stories, I just want to share how I feel about these types of things. So I hope you enjoy your journey through my mind! ^-^

Chapter 1

Part One: Fanfics

You guys know I like One Direction. In fact, I went to their concert a few weeks ago, and I had a blast. And, I admit, I have written several fan fictions, but I'm updating those less and less. I don't mind reading them, but some of them just make me weep for today's society. Let's get to it, then.

First off, can we try to get past naming them after lyrics? I mean, I get that it's a play on words, or that you want it to show that it's, say, a One Direction fanfic. But I don't know, it just doesn't feel creative? That's not a very good reason, but it just annoys me. Can't you be creative and come up with something original?

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Okay, the next annoying thing about a fanfic is that they can be highly unrealistic. I understand that it's hard to find a realistic way for a normal person and a superstar to fall in love, but come on!

You're at a concert meet and greet, or in the crowd, or waiting to get into the arena, and they just see you, only you, and make a beeline for you. Do you realize how many people there are at those things? There's no way that would ever happen.

Or, better yet, they bump into each other in a coffee shop or on the street and he spills his drink on you. (I just mocked my own freakin' fanfic. How naive I was back then!) And then he has to buy her a new drink and they have to sit together and talk, and BOOM. Instant love connection. No. I just..no.

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This has to be one of the most annoying things. When the girl is like 17, a high school student living with her parents. One Direction comes along and befriends the her, then they invite her on tour. So what? She goes up to her mom:

"Hey Mom, One Direction invited me to go on tour with them! I get to live on a bus with them for several months, and you won't see me at all! So can I go?"

And then her mom's just all, "Oh, sure honey! That's great!"

-_- Who's mother would let their daughter drop everything, including school, so she can go tour with a bus full of teenage guys? Not mine, at least. And I think it's safe to say yours probably wouldn't allow it either.

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Here's one: Orbs. And other words that no one actually uses in real life. I don't understand it. You can be descriptive without using that. Say it with me: EYES. That is an acceptable word. You can call them eyes; that is what they're called. I just...I don't know. Why? Someone explain why it's necessary to use orbs.

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Fanfics that move too fast:

Chapter 1: We meet the main character, how she knows One Direction or how she will know them, a little about her, and most likely we meet her best friend(s).

Chapter 2: The actual introduction of 1D. A love connection of some sort.

Chapter 3: They start dating, or kiss, or confess their love for each other.

Chapter 4: She gets pregnant, or he proposes, or they actually get married.

I mean, seriously. That just doesn't give me a story! That's a summary. Can't it be stretched out into a longer version? I think yes.

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And, also, what's with the vampires and werewolves versions of One Direction. It's one thing to write the three separately. But a mashup? Why is that a thing?

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So here's what, in my opinion, makes a fan fiction good.

It has a good story line that isn't overused. I don't want to read the same thing over and over again a million different times, just from different writers and maybe a tweak or two. I want to read something unique.

It has good spelling and grammar. The spelling and grammar doesn't have to be flawless and superb, I just ask that you proofread to avoid unnecessary typos.

It doesn't move too fast or too slow, giving me a story that actually goes somewhere but doesn't make me feel like I'm reading a summary.

It actually makes sense. Some people might, but I won't read something highly unrealistic. I cringe at my very first fanfic on here and I've considered deleting it on numerous occasions simply because it is so unrealistic: small town girls capture One Direction's hearts when they just so happen to stop into town. The parents disappear so that they can spend nights together, and ugh.

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If you're actually still reading this, I'm impressed. Thanks and let me know if you agree, disagree, etc. If you have something you want me to write about, go ahead and let me know and I'll think about the subject lots and come up with an opinion on the issue ;)

~Claire

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