My Kind of Normal (sequel to Being a Villain and the Fun of Ruining It)
Does anyone remember "Being a Villain and the Fun of Ruining It"? Well, this is the sequel. It's about me and two of my best friends, Soul and Highlight. Fred and BK are owned by them, and I stole Yumi from a computer game.
This is about our fourth year at Hogwarts. Most of this stuff is totally probable and undeniably (mostly) true.
This is fanfiction. I don't own any of the fandoms in this story unless I specifically state otherwise.
This is for Soul and Highlight - love you girls!
The Imaginaries' Dilemma (Part II)
I nodded my head. "I'm sorry, Soul, but that's what BK said. Both he and Snape were taken."
Soul's brown eyes were wide, and a look of shock was plastered over her face. "I usually would have suspected Snape, but he's gone too? What the heck?" She shook her head. "I swear, we should just use this as a vacation away from the Imaginaries. It might do us some good, you know."
While I did understand Soul's idea, and though it would normally be one that I'd wholeheartedly agree with, I knew that this was something so much more serious. "We have to find Fred, Soul." I said. "If the other two devils are concerned about him, well... something really bad must have happened."
"Yeah, I know." Soul stood up straight again. She brushed a lock of her layered, brownish hair out of her eyes before saying, "Alright. So what leads do we have so far, Detective Jen? What was the motive for stealing Fred McSquirrelButt and the guy who loves pink nearly as much as Yumi does?"
"I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult." Yumi muttered.
"Are you armed, Soul?" George asked.
Soul smirked and pulled a mini-FPoD out from her Slytherin robes. "I'm always armed, Georgey-porgey."
Cue the twins' eyes becoming as giant as saucers.
I rolled my eyes at the boys' obvious sign of weakness. "We should go meet up with BK and Highlight. Highlight will definitely have some ideas, and they'll probably be on the main floor by now."
Soul nodded sharply and shot me an army-like salute. "Let's go!" She began to march out of the dungeons.
Yumi facepalmed and followed Soul, muttering something about 'those insane real people...'
The twins and I were quickly on the others' tails. I patted my Gryffindor robes, just to be sure that I was carrying an FPoD as well. Thankfully, I felt one of the mini-FPoDs in both sides of my robes. Good - now I was ready for battle as well.
We made our way up to the realm of the living (aka not the dungeons) and started for the Ravenclaw dorms. But before we were even halfway there, we were stopped by a very out-of-breath blonde.
Highlight gasped for oxygen as she stopped in front of us. She had obviously been running here all the way from the Ravenclaw dorms. Right by her feet, I noticed, BK was standing.
"What happened?" Highlight asked.
"Fred got his squirrely butt kidnapped." Soul said nonchalantly.
"And now we have to go save him and Professor Snape." I said, also sounding like this was something that happened every day. Being as our everyday happenings were pretty similar to this, I figured that my tone of voice was appropriate.
Highlight facepalmed. "Great. Just great. Now we have to scour the entire castle for two beings we could live just as well without."
"Pretty much." The twins said.
Hearing the twins suddenly gave me an idea.
"Hey, Soul," I turned to the Imaginary-less girl. "We should put our housemates to good use!"
Soul's eyes lit up. "Whatever your idea is, I'm sure I'm going to love it."
I felt a sudden tapping on both of my shoulders. "Um, Jen?"
I turned around, smiling innocently at the twins. "Yes, boys?"
"Uh... we're your housemates."
I gasped in mock delight. "That's excellent, boys! It took you four years, but you finally figured it out." When the boys rolled their eyes, I giggled and turned back to Soul. "You get along pretty well with Dorko - uh, Draco, right?" I grinned sheepishly. According to Soul, the Malfoy (or, as I preferred to call him, Malformed) boy was as nice as one of us when the two of them hung out by themselves. Unfortunately, I had never seen that side of him. He always picked on those weaker than him, and that was a trait that I simply could not look past. But nevertheless, I had a plan.
At Soul's nod of confirmation, I continued, "Good. Do you think you could rope him into working for us? Like, maybe you could make up some reason for him to look for Snape or something?"
A wicked gleam entered Soul's eye. "I'm sure I can some up with something."
"Great!" I then turned to Highlight. "What about you? Do you know anyone who can help us?"
"Luna and I hang out sometimes." Highlight offered. "I could see if she'd be willing to join the search party."
"Okay, thanks." I said. "And with that being said, we already have the infamous double trouble from my house on our side, so I think we're all set."
"I'm not sure this was a good idea." I heard George murmur behind me.
"Imaginaries!" Soul spoke up. "I hereby order the two of you to find minions for us. Yumi, you grab Luna, because she probably won't freak out when she sees a girl dressed up in nothing but pink. I'll go get Draco, because I doubt he'd even try listening to anyone else." She then looked at Highlight. The Ravenclaw girl took over.
"That sounds good." Highlight nodded. "Jen, you should come with me. We'll start with scouring the castle. Twins, even though I doubt you'll stay on this case without getting sidetracked, but check outside. Everyone should report back to the Great Hall in exactly half an hour."
"Sir, yes, sir!" The twins, Soul, and I said at the same time. Wow. I really hung out with these people too much.
With that, everyone started to head out in their respective directions.
"Come on, Jen," I quickly followed Highlight as the other girl dashed off towards the classrooms. To be honest, I had no idea where Fredweird and Snape could possibly be. Knowing Fred's Imaginary-ish tendencies and Professor Snape's... well... overall weirdness, I knew that they could be anywhere.
I shook my head. No - I was thinking normally, as if I was looking for where they'd be hiding. But that wouldn't work. I had to realize that their location would be fully dependant on the kidnapper.
And I had no idea who the kidnapper was.
It took Highlight and I mere minutes to find out that the kidnapped beings were not, in fact, in the general area of the classrooms. We both knew that it'd be highly unlikely that they'd be in such a place, but still, we had figured that we'd better check it out anyways. As we continued to run through hallways, duck our heads into randomly-chosen rooms, and declare that Fred and Snape were still as noticeable as phantoms, time began to slip out of our fingers. Before we knew it, we had checked a large majority of rooms in the castle, and we were twenty-five minutes into our search. During our hunt, we had ran into Luna Lovegood, Yumi, and BK, who all reported that they hadn't seen or heard anything that would signify that Fred and Snape were locked up somewhere. By the time our thirty minutes was spent, we had found nothing.
With heaving chests and heavy hearts, Highlight and I stumbled into the Great Hall just as our time limit was up. (The credit for our being on time was all thanks to Highlight, I might point out.)
We made our way towards the Ravenclaw table, where a small crowd of our friends and cohorts were already sitting. Luna, Soul, BK, and Yumi were all sitting at the nearly-bare table. By the looks on their faces, I guessed that they hadn't had much more luck than Highlight and I.
"Well, that's it." Soul said matter-of-factly. "Fred's gone forever. I predict that he'll show up next Tuesday. Draco didn't find anything, either."
I forged a smile and sat down next to my friend. "Don't worry, Soul. I'm sure he'll come around sooner or later."
"He was kidnapped, Jen." BK said dryly. "Kidnapped squirrels don't just come around."
I glared at the tomcat. "That's not helping matters." I growl-whispered.
Highlight sat down next to me. "I wonder who could have taken them." She said, wistfully looking up at the ever-fancy Great Hall ceiling. "Who would have the motive?"
"Nargles, perhaps?" Luna offered.
I smiled kindly at the blonde girl, but honestly, I didn't think that she was right. Fred was just too strange for the nargles to capture. As for Professor Snape, he'd probably kill them with a look before they could do anything. No, I didn't think that Fred and Snape had been taken by magical creatures. Something more sinister must have taken them.
"Maybe it was You-Know-Who."
I turned around. "Yeah, Fred, because Lord Voldemort wants to be driven mentally insane by a pair of whackos who will undoubtedly foil his plans for world domination."
Both of the red-headed twins shrugged. "You didn't have any better ideas."
I moved myself back towards the Ravenclaw table and sighed. "No, we're all thinking way too rationally. This is Fred and Snape we're talking about. In the first place, how would they even get themselves kidnapped?"
"They're not exactly bright." Highlight pointed out.
I nodded my head. "True," I pondered this for a moment. "But neither is Jar Jar Binks, and he was never killed."
That was the moment that everyone in the Great Hall stared at me like I was loony. Well, except for Luna, that is.
"We have no idea what you're talking about." BK finally said, breaking the awkward silence.
"Right," I looked around a bit before continuing, "What I'm really trying to say is that we have to think a little more normally. I mean, why would they get captured in the first place? Sure, I can see the Professor being taken by someone - if they wanted to learn how to make veritaserum or something. But Fred? Only Highlight, Soul, or I would take him by force."
Highlight seemed to be realizing where I was going with this. "And why were Yumi and BK the ones to inform us about this dastardly crime?"
I stood up. "People," A light smirk appeared on my face. "I think we should investigate the scene of the crime."
Author's Note: I have 3.5K of this story written so far! Alright! I think I'll only need one more part for The Imaginaries' Dilemma, then I'll work on other things.