My Kind of Normal (sequel to Being a Villain and the Fun of Ruining It)

Does anyone remember "Being a Villain and the Fun of Ruining It"? Well, this is the sequel. It's about me and two of my best friends, Soul and Highlight. Fred and BK are owned by them, and I stole Yumi from a computer game.
This is about our fourth year at Hogwarts. Most of this stuff is totally probable and undeniably (mostly) true.

This is fanfiction. I don't own any of the fandoms in this story unless I specifically state otherwise.

This is for Soul and Highlight - love you girls!

Chapter 3

The Imaginaries' Dilemma (Part III)

I had learned long ago that there was no such thing as rational thinking inside the magical brick walls of Hogwarts; so why would such a thing matter now? No, my friends and I had been acting far too logical and serious about this whole matter. I had an inkling of a feeling that there was something fishy about this whole kidnapping scenario, but I wanted to prove that my theory was right before saying anything. The scene of the crime was exactly where I wanted to be when the news became known, and I decided that BK and Yumi were going to be the ones to tell us the truth.

"They were sitting right here when we saw them last." BK pointed a furry little paw at the floor of a random hallway inside the castle. It must have been a corridor than rarely anybody used anymore, because I could still see the imprint of a picnic blanket amidst the dust on the floor. "They were having a picnic, giggling, writing in that pink diary of Snape's, and singing a song about unicorns." He rolled his green-yellow kitty eyes. "Of course Yumi and I left."

Soul raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Yumi left the picnic when they started singing about unicorns and writing in a pink diary? Oh yeah, that sounds pretty freakin' true."

BK only shrugged. "She's not exactly the master of logic either. OW!" He snarled and jumped away when Yumi smacked him on the head for his comment.

"Of course I left." She snapped. She crossed her arms and stuck her nose up in the air, obviously not impressed with BK's act of throwing her under the bus yet another time. "I'd rather watch BK cough up hairballs than sing about fuzzy, cute, adorable unicorns with Fred and Snape." She sniffed and promptly turned away from us. Ugh, what a drama queen.

Highlight and I exchanged a glance. Again, I knew that we were on the same track. One thing was obvious thus far: the Imaginaries were lying to us. But why? And why wouldn't they tell us what had really happened to Fred and Snape?

"OKAY YOU GUYS, 'FESS UP AND TELL US WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON!" Apparently Soul was on the same track as Highlight and I.

Yumi's brown eyes widened as Soul hovered over her menacingly. Yumi gulped and nervously giggled, and looked over at BK for some kind of support. "Um, we, uh... nothing's going on, really!"

"Yeah, I totally believe you." Soul rolled her eyes and glared even harder at Yumi. "We want the facts. And Fred. But you guys can keep Snape. We don't really need him at this school."

Yumi shot BK another look that clearly screamed "HELP ME!". But the tomcat was pretending to be busy, licking his paws and smoothing the fur in-between his ears. He almost looked like he was enjoying witnessing Yumi being grilled to charcoals again. Heck, of course he was enjoying it. This was BK we're talking about.

"You'd better tell Soul what she wants to know, or else we might have to use an ancient form of Hungarian torture on you." The words came nonchalantly out of Highlight's mouth, and the blonde girl smiled sweetly in Yumi's direction. "As for you, Benjamin Kitty." Her tone at that moment gave the word 'menacing' an entire new meaning. I swore to myself right then and there that I would never get on Highlight's bad side. She marched up to BK and picked him up by the scruff. "Tell me. Where. They. Are." She whispered threateningly, her eyes flashing as they bored into BK's now-terrified eyes.

The grey cat just stared back at her. "Uh, okay then... I don't imagine your proposal has anything to do with waffles, does it?"

"There will be no waffles, and this is not a proposal." Highlight used her best sadistic smile on BK. And trust me, this was her best - I'd seen her give the cat many scary looks over the four years or so that I had known her. "This is an order, and one that I expect you to obey."

"Oh no, this isn't a command." BK grinned at Highlight. "We can make it into some kind of dealio, I think. How about five boxes of waffles?"

"Five boxes of waffles and a bolt of shiny pink fabric!" Yumi called from where she stood, still being stared down by Soul.

"Three boxes of waffles and half a bolt of Yumi's fabric." Highlight countered.

"Four boxes and who cares about the fabric?"


Highlight put BK back on the ground, where the cat immediately got chewed out by my imaginary friend. Oh well, that's just what Imaginaries did. And, once I thought about it, real people did as well. There went my philosophical reasoning.

Highlight and Soul walked back over to me, and I could tell that they were just as itching to go and find Fred and Snape as I was. Even more than that, I could imagine that they were looking forward to give each of the Imaginaries a good, stout smack on the head with a Frying Pan of Doom once this case was closed. And to be honest with you, I was on the same page as them with that.

BK and Yumi wasted no time at all in leading us to the place where they claimed Fred and Snape were. It was down in the dungeons, in a room I'd never even seen before. It was either really new or really old, and personally I was betting on really new. I might have possibly spent a lot of my time down in the dungeons during my years at the school, and not all of that time was for exactly legal reasons. The twins and I particularly enjoyed playing tricks on the Slytherins, and of course their dorms were down in the dungeons. Back at the beginning of third year when we still had the Marauder's Map, we had explored many of the old and unused rooms and chambers down in the dungeons. But as far as I could remember, this room hadn't been on the map back then.

"Well, get ready to be amazed." Yumi said as she stood by the door. "Presenting to you, the ones and the onlies, the fantabulously amazing... FRED AND SNAPE!" She flung the door wide open, and the sight that beheld our eyes was one I had definitely not been expecting.

A large flatscreen TV was mounted on the pink wall at the far end of the room. A Walk to Remember was playing on the screen, and none other than Fred and Snape were sitting on two pink, fluffy beanbags on the floor, watching the movie and eating popcorn.

I just stared at the scene in front of me, not even sure what to make of it. No kidnappings had happened. Nothing bad had went down. Oh my gosh, Yumi and BK were so going to get it.

I turned around to face them, but right at that moment they poofed away into a cloud of glitter.

"Wow," Highlight facepalmed and shook her head. "I had no idea that Fred and Snape even went as far as watching chick flicks together. I'm so glad BK would never do that."

"Welcome to my life, girls." I chuckled. "Yumi is always trying to get me to watch something mushy and kissy with her."

"You poor soul." Soul sighed.

I chuckled. "I like the puniness of that."

That moment, of course, was the one where Snape and Fred decided to notice that there were three teenaged girls standing in their movie room.

"SOUL!" Fred shrieked and began to jump up and down. "You came at the best part of the movie! Come on, I even have a huge supply of pop tarts in this place. Movies with Snape are the best. Come join us, please?"

Soul's hand snaked into her robe pocket, where I knew for sure that she had a mini-FPoD hiding. "Why of course." She smirked and winked at Highlight and I. "I'll be back upstairs in about fifteen minutes with the squirrel."

"But the movie still has another half an hour to go!" Fred whined.

"Oh, excuse me. Another thirty minutes."

Highlight chuckled. "Have fun. I've got a certain kitty to catch up with anyways."

"And a crazed fangirl who loves the colour pink on my end." I put in. "We'll catch up with you later, Soul."

"Sounds good." And so Highlight and I left the movie room, chuckling amongst ourselves about the various torture methods we'd be able to use on the Imaginaries next.

Even though I was ridiculously annoyed with all three of the Imaginaries, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself about the situation. Yet again we had made a huge, fun deal out of what turned out to be nothing. Our lives weren't the most exciting, but they were sure as heck pretty fun to be living.

"Come on, Jen." Highlight said once we reached the ground level of Hogwarts castle. "I do believe we're late for a meeting with Yumi and BK."

I grinned at her. "Of course, Highlight."

Author's Note: Wow. I really did plant down my butt and write a long chapter for this story. I find it funny that we're all so old now... I'm 15, and I'm pretty sure that both Soul and Highlight are now 16. Yet I'm writing about 4th year. Hahaha such fail. :P But it's still fun. Hope you enjoyed it, Soul and Highlight!

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