I did not insult you, I simply described you in full detail (and much much more like this)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 (Read this while you're upside down)

I did not jump on you, I simply mistook your stomach for a trampoline.
I did not scream in your ear, I simply was trying to see how loud I could scream and your ear got in the way.
I did not fall down the stairs, I simply tried to fly and failed.
I did not send my brother down the stairs in a laundry basket, I simply was trying to push air and my brother decided to get in.
I did not glue you to your chair, I simply was gluing stuff and squirted it in the wrong direction, and then you sat there.
I did not put Mentos and Coke in your car, I simply lost everything I bought, and oddly enough, it ended up in your car.
I did not change your email password, I was simply protecting it from bad people and forgot to tell you.

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