Honestly, I'm a Liar. (A Divergent Fan-Fiction)
So this is my Divergent Fan-Fiction. Yeah. Read on, darlings.
Chapter 1
Chapter One
I yawn and check the time. 9:25. I throw the covers up and pad my bare feet over to my small closet. Black and white clothes hang on hangers and sit on the floor. Messy. Just like the rest of my room. I pull out a simple black dress that I hate. I hate dresses. I hate my faction. I let it be known.
As a Candor we're taught that honesty is the best policy. Not just the best policy, but the only policy. And I am a liar. Not to spare peoples feelings, in which case I am brutally honest, but because I don't believe that lying is wrong. I lie when I need to, and honestly I'm good at it. We're taught at a young age how to tell when people are lying, so it's not too hard to learn how to lie in the process. Hands still, heart beat steady, breathing normal. Look them in the eyes, do not look away or to the side. Straight face, but not stiff. Loose, just like as if you weren't lying. Lying to a Candor is harder than to say, an Erudite teacher, but I always manage to do it.
I walk into the bathroom and brush out my naturally straight hair. It hangs just below my shoulders and is black. Black and plain. Boring. Luckily I'm sixteen. The choosing ceremony is today. I haven't got a clue where I'm going. I'm just going. Everyone is judgmental, overly-honest, and rude here. I've looked forward to this ever since I was nine and told my first lie. I don't remember it, but I do remember the look of utter disappointment in my parent's eyes. The things they said. How they could never accept a lying daughter. I've been disappointing them ever since. And, as Candor's, they've let me know it.
I'll disappoint them more than ever today.
After pulling on the boring clothes and brushing out my hair, I walk out of my bedroom. One of the last days I will ever be in there. Tonight will be the last night I sleep here.
My little sister pushes past me and runs out of the hallway that leads to her room, mine, and to the living room.
"Slow down there, Livs," I say to her. She would be the one and only thing I miss. My parents never really cared. They'd let me know if they did. I walk up to the six year old and scoop her up into my arms.
"Put me down! I'm mad at you!" Olivia squirmed in my arms, her blonde hair shipping around and smacking me in the face.
"Why, sweetie?" I sat her down, but kept a tight grip on the back of her white dress.
"Because! You're going to leave me, Alexis!" Olivia turned and began to try to worm her way out of my grip. I let go, only to pick her up again. I hoisted her over my shoulder and walked into my room.
"Livs," I began. I had no idea how to put this. I was leaving her. "Sweetie, I'm not... Okay I am..." My mind fumbled around looking for the right way to put it. How do you explain to a six year old that you hate your life and faction. "Alright. I'll promise you something okay?" Olivia looked up at me with her baby blue eyes. When she faced the light at the right angle, her iris' were white. I always envied her eyes. Mine were plain green. Nothing special.
"Okay," she said with a pout.
"I'll go wherever the aptitude test takes me. Even if it means staying here. That way you have a chance of keeping me. Okay?" I looked into her eyes and smiled a half smile at her.
"Alright... I'll just miss you if you go sissy." She clung onto my neck and cried. I sat on my bed and rocked her back and fourth until she was done.
That would be the only lie I'd ever regret.
There was no way she'd keep me.
A/N: Sorry kinda short, but yeah. Hopefully it sparked some interest, comment if I should continue. Also, I decided not to make it a group story, so sorry if I kinda got your hopes up for nothing.
As a Candor we're taught that honesty is the best policy. Not just the best policy, but the only policy. And I am a liar. Not to spare peoples feelings, in which case I am brutally honest, but because I don't believe that lying is wrong. I lie when I need to, and honestly I'm good at it. We're taught at a young age how to tell when people are lying, so it's not too hard to learn how to lie in the process. Hands still, heart beat steady, breathing normal. Look them in the eyes, do not look away or to the side. Straight face, but not stiff. Loose, just like as if you weren't lying. Lying to a Candor is harder than to say, an Erudite teacher, but I always manage to do it.
I walk into the bathroom and brush out my naturally straight hair. It hangs just below my shoulders and is black. Black and plain. Boring. Luckily I'm sixteen. The choosing ceremony is today. I haven't got a clue where I'm going. I'm just going. Everyone is judgmental, overly-honest, and rude here. I've looked forward to this ever since I was nine and told my first lie. I don't remember it, but I do remember the look of utter disappointment in my parent's eyes. The things they said. How they could never accept a lying daughter. I've been disappointing them ever since. And, as Candor's, they've let me know it.
I'll disappoint them more than ever today.
After pulling on the boring clothes and brushing out my hair, I walk out of my bedroom. One of the last days I will ever be in there. Tonight will be the last night I sleep here.
My little sister pushes past me and runs out of the hallway that leads to her room, mine, and to the living room.
"Slow down there, Livs," I say to her. She would be the one and only thing I miss. My parents never really cared. They'd let me know if they did. I walk up to the six year old and scoop her up into my arms.
"Put me down! I'm mad at you!" Olivia squirmed in my arms, her blonde hair shipping around and smacking me in the face.
"Why, sweetie?" I sat her down, but kept a tight grip on the back of her white dress.
"Because! You're going to leave me, Alexis!" Olivia turned and began to try to worm her way out of my grip. I let go, only to pick her up again. I hoisted her over my shoulder and walked into my room.
"Livs," I began. I had no idea how to put this. I was leaving her. "Sweetie, I'm not... Okay I am..." My mind fumbled around looking for the right way to put it. How do you explain to a six year old that you hate your life and faction. "Alright. I'll promise you something okay?" Olivia looked up at me with her baby blue eyes. When she faced the light at the right angle, her iris' were white. I always envied her eyes. Mine were plain green. Nothing special.
"Okay," she said with a pout.
"I'll go wherever the aptitude test takes me. Even if it means staying here. That way you have a chance of keeping me. Okay?" I looked into her eyes and smiled a half smile at her.
"Alright... I'll just miss you if you go sissy." She clung onto my neck and cried. I sat on my bed and rocked her back and fourth until she was done.
That would be the only lie I'd ever regret.
There was no way she'd keep me.
A/N: Sorry kinda short, but yeah. Hopefully it sparked some interest, comment if I should continue. Also, I decided not to make it a group story, so sorry if I kinda got your hopes up for nothing.
21 Comments
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This is pretty good so far.
A little constructive criticism if that's okay? (I'm not trying to offend you or start an argument at all, believe me).
I think it would help your story if there was some more description and variation in sentences. Like, you're kind of just going from one thing to the next and just saying it, and that gets a little monotonous. Just kind of mix it up a little bit? Do you get what I'm saying?
Again, not trying to start something, it was still a great story! :D
reads all the comments and gives you a wild round of applause
I've never seen anybody make anyone scramble for a retort so fast. That's really freaking impressive and you are officially amazing. It was actually kind of amusing to read, to be honest with you.
And on top of all that the story's fantastic, so five-stars and a favorite for you, ma'am!
This is amazing! I love divergent so much! I can tell this story is going to be amazing! Here and there you might want to add this ; because I can see places where it's needed. :) Apart from that, it's well written and I'm definitely interested in reading more. :)
Okay! Thanks, I'm really bad at proof-reading before I post it. I mean I skim but I get pretty lazy. Thanks for putting it in a nice way!
Stop with the silly arguing! I agree with the creator. And the story was very good :D
Thank you!! I appreciate it, seriously.
nice!
So why in hell would you send a d*a8m friend request to me then? I can spell. Very well actully. And I dont care if we are younger, older, same age, etc. And the reason why it seems that I type incorrectly is the fact that I type a little to fast. And if we where never friends then how about this. Delete me from you friend's list. Because it is odvious that we shall not be comunicating to each other. And why did you send a friend request to me anyway? The last one is just out of curiousity.
Do you honestly think I talk to every person on my friends list? I'm not wasting my time looking through the list. You can do that if you care so much.
*da*mn
**actually
**too
**were
**your
**obvious
**communicating
**curiosity
I must give you props for this though: you're getting better with the apostrophes!
I actuly I could care less about it and I don't really give a dam if anyone cares' about it or not, hell right now I am wondering how we ever became friends'. And actuly my dear friend you are the one that is acting younger then they are. Becaue the way you typed it out you are acting younger then me.So talk about childish. And the only reason why I am commenting is because you are commenting and if you wish fo me not to respond to you then just don't comment on my comment then.
I actuly I could care less about it and I don't really give a dam if anyone cares' about it or not, hell right now I am wondering how we ever became friends'. And actuly my dear friend you are the one that is acting younger then they are. Becaue the way you typed it out you are acting younger then me.So talk about childish. And the only reason why I am commenting is because you are commenting and if you wish fo me not to respond to you then just don't comment on my comment then.
We never were friends...
**actually
*da*mn
**Because
**for
It's my quiz. You're the one commenting on mine. Just go.
And if I am younger than you I honestly don't care. At least I can spell and know where to put apostrophes.
Bye, now. :)
And your...what?
Well actuly I spell it correctly, it can be spelled either way: storie, story. Both are correct. And who said I was throwing a fit? Because sadly I am not. I am just saying what I think right now. And I am not the one that seems' to be having a fit.
**actually
Well you're the one who keeps commenting on my story filling it with things that nobody cares about. Nobody cares what you think right now, especially not me. You're just throwing a fit because I wrote my story and didn't write it with you. Take your three-year-old attitude and leave.