How to get kicked out of...

How to get kicked out of...


Chapter 1


1. Pull off all of the cereal boxes and make a barrier in the middle of the aisle. When people try to pass, yell, "MY AISLE!! LEAVE NOW OR VOLDY'S GONNA GETCHA!!"

2. Get a picnic blanket, open some random food boxes, and yell "Join my picnic!" to strangers.

3. Hide in a freezer in the frozen food aisle, and when someone opens the freezer (preferably an old lady) jump out and scream.

4. Flirt with the baker until he/she gives you a free cookie.

5. Make a fruit hat and dance like a crazy person saying "C'mon friends! Join the party!"

6. Go to the express lane with a big pile of items, and when they tell you the limit, point to where it says '15 items or less' or whatever and say " said 82!"

7. Make out with a box of cereal in a corner, and when someone sees you say "Excuse me?! Leave us alone!"

8. Have a contest to see who can balance an orange on their head the longest.

9. have a friend push you in a cart while you yell "the british are coming! The British are coming!"

10. Make up an oath to food and recite it really loudly in the middle of the store.

11,Pick up a piece of gum from the floor (if there is any) and give it to a stranger while saying "Eat it! Eat it!"

12. Look at the ground and announce you've lost your gum and if it's found, may someone please return it.

13. Yell "I THINK I LOST MY SPIDER, PENELOPE! CAN YOU HELP ME FIND HER? SHE'S BIG AND FURRY AND..." drift away as people start to scream.

14. Yell "Nice butt!" to a stranger.

15. Say it's national hug day and your giving out free hugs.

16. Start a food fight.

17. Squeeze ketchup in a stranger's face, yell "Gotcha!!!" and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

18. Go up to a worker and politely ask if you can use the big announcer thingy that the talking is coming from.

19. Whisper to someone, "When i die, i'm coming back as a ghost. A friendly one like Casper."

20. Run in circles screaming. "I LOST MY SANITY!!! HELP ME FIND IT!" QUICKLY!"


22. Scream "OMG its Katy Perry! Seriously!" And then get the heck outta there.

23. When it's time for the store to close politely ask someone if you can be a "cool guy" and stay overnight.

24. break dance!!! in the middle of nowhere.

25. Say "Where's the frozen foods aisle?" When someone takes you say "No this is the freezer sale. They come with food, too!"

26. Go to the deli area and say "Only big kids can use the cutter!" when a worker slices someones food.

27. Yell "Stink bomb!" when you have no stink bomb and then say "Ha fooled ya!"

28. When you see those big bottles of water say "Why are they selling bottles of nothing?" (I seriously thought they were bottles of nothing when i was younger)

29. Go to the self check out line and say "Ahh!" LASER!" when you scan the food.

30. Ask the customer service why there's a snake in aisle 4.


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