You know you're Irish when...

A collection of some of my favourite "you know you're Irish when..." jokes. Or, as we call them, "ya know yer Irish when..." jokes. ;)

Chapter 1

......

You've been learning Irish for 12 years and still can't hold a conversation in it.

You understand the "Mila Cunis, Mila ag caint" joke.

You're abroad and they ask "d'you know Seamus?" And you have to say yes because we all do.

Mammy threatens to get the wooden spoon on ya.

First years are literally the most irritating people in the world.

Getting high points on your Junior Cert and Leaving Cert are more important than remembering to breath.

You can't tell the difference between summer and winter because it's always feckin raining.

You can tell what county someone's from just by their accent.

Having a conversation with your bus driver is normal behaviour and not at all weird.

It is HILARIOUS when you smile at tourists on the street and they get confused.

goes on Facebook "Like for h.o! I'll do most of them"

"For the craic" and "for the mad banter" are excuses to do anything.
ANYTHING.

You feel like you're the only people in the world who hate Ireland.

We come last in the Eurovision every year, and every year it's funnier than the last.

"Dunno ye but you're fair pretty and ya seem sound that's it tbh"

You're the only people in the world who have literally built an entire language out of slang.

There is literally five seconds of summer.

The words "shift" and "meet" have two completely different meanings to the ones used in other countries.

It's not Christmas until the Late Late Toy Show is on.

"Will ya shift me friend over dere."

If something in Penneys is over 10 euro, it's an outrage.

You take your tea bags with you in your suitcase going on holidays.

No American can pronounce your last name.

"Study? Naw, it'll be grand, granny lit a candle for me."

"Aw Jaysis sure it'll be grand."

There are more bottles of beer in the fridge than water.

You feel like shoving a piano down that one American's throat when they say "oh you're Irish? So you're British, then."

Father Ted quotes are acceptable in any and all situations.

You say "what's the craic" to someone from another country and they look at you like you've 50 heads.

"I will yeah" actually means "No feckin way."

There are trolleys in the canal.

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