The Fine Line

There is such a fine line between love and hate, but it's a different kind of hate, and the most extreme kind of love.

Chapter 1

Love and Hate

There is a fine line between love and hate. How can someone you love so dearly, so strongly be someone that you hate so much. Not a hate like normal, though. It's a certain hate that's never before been felt. A hate, that at the same time, is utter and complete love. Someone who means the most in the world to you, but then they make you want to scream and tear out your hair.

It's not because they're mean or nasty or awful. You don't actually hate them; you're jealous. Every aspect of them are perfect. Better than you in every possible way. At least, this is what you believe. You're best friend, true love, person that's like your sister/brother, or even all three turns into someone that makes your heart hurt in the strangest, loveliest way.

She's everything to me. She's my light in complete and utter darkness, she's a god damn drug. I can't live without her, but I can't live knowing I'll never be good enough for her, or even as good as her. I'm such a cheesy romantic weirdo... but she really, truly is my total EVERYTHING. She'll never know how much she means to me. But when she finds out... she'll... be disappointed. Or even horrified that I could say I hate her.

I don't think anyone understands what kind of hate or pure envy this is. I can't take it anymore. I just wish she understood the fine line between the two. I just wish she loved me. I'm so lost without her. I'm in such pain without her reassuring words, and all around presence. I just... I wish she loved me.

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