Dork Diaries: Dear Dork
Dear Miss Know It All.
I think my arch-nemesis is spreading rumours about me. Help!
OMG!!! Does your arch nemesis have a name that starts with "Mac" and end with "Kenzie"? Maybe YOU can give ME advice! Your friend, Miss Know It All.
All rights go to Dork Diaries and Rachel Renee Russel.
Wednesday, January 1
I was really looking forward to a brand-new year. Mainly because last year was filled with SO much drama. What better way to start things off than with me and my 2 BFF's having a WILD and CRAZY New Year's Eve pyjama party at Zoey's house? We pigged out on pizza, double-chocolate cupcakes, M&M's and ice-cream sundaes, and then washed it all down with soda. Soon we were giggling hysterically and bouncing off the walls from a major sugar buzz. We were having WAAAY too much FUN painting our nails funky colors and playing TRUTH OR DARE to watch some lame disco-ball thingy drop in Times Square on TV. "Zoey! Truth or dare?" Chloe asked, locking her eyes on Zoey with an eager grin. "Truth!" she answered.
"I have a really good one!" Chloe squealed. "It's SOOO romantic and from my FAVE book! OK, who would you rather kiss, Deadly Doodle Dude or Hunk Finn?!" "Oh! That's easy!" Zoey giggled. "I pick Hunk Finn. He's the sensitive artist type and super cute". "Yeah, but Deadly Doodle Dude is so . . .morbidly . . .beautiful and intensely . . .doodley". Chloe gushed. That's when I almost choked on my pizza. I know my BFF is a hopeless romantic, and I love her to death. But sometimes I worry that her TEETH might be BRIGHTER than SHE is. Crushing on a DOODLEY guy is just so . . .WRONG! I mean, is that even a REAL word?! If I was going to create the perfect guy, he would be KIND, have a good sense of HUMOUR, and be adorably CUTE (just like my crush, Brandon) . . .
"Your turn, Nikki," Zoey said, and turned to me. "Truth or dare?" "Oooh! I have a really good one!" Chloe exclaimed. A wicked grin spread across her face as she whispered in Zoey's ear. Zoey's eyes got as big as saucers. "OMG, Chloe! Nikki is going to DIE if we asked her that!" she shrieked through her giggles. I scrunched up my face and nervously chewed my lip. Answering a truth about a fictional guy was fun and exciting. But answering one about a REAL guy could be totally EMBARRASSING. And I was hoping to AVOID discussing ONE guy in particular, if you know what I mean. Which meant I didn't have a choice.
"DARE! Nobody's been brave enough to try a dare, so I'll do one. Give me your hardest!" I challenged Zoey. She tapped her chin, in deep thought. Suddenly a sly smirk appeared on her face. "Are you SURE about that, Nikki? Requesting a truth might be A LOT easier". "Or maybe NOT!" Chloe said smugly. "Yes, I'm sure. DARE!" I blurted. "Bring it!" Sometimes I really wish my brain worked faster tan my big, fat mouth. Because it was quite obvious Chloe and Zoey were up to some mischievous, evil-genius stuff! But there was just NO WAY I was going to SPILL MY GUTS about Brandon in a game. Until I heard Zoey's dare . . .OK, dare! Nikki, I dare you to sneak over to Mackenzie's and toilet-paper her house!" I just stared at Zoey and gasped. I couldn't believe my ears.
"OMG!" Chloe exclaimed. "That's so dangerous and sneaky . . .and totally the BEST dare ever!! You GOTTA do it, Nikki!" I immediately broke into a cold sweat. "I d-don't know guys!" I stammered. "I mean, what if I get caught?! I could get in really big trouble! I guess I'm just a big . . .CHICKEN! Sorry to ruin all of the fun". "Don't feel bad, Nikki. I gave you a super crazy dare. Only the CCP (Cute, Cool & Popular) kids do stuff like that. Chloe and I are chickens too!" Zoey admitted. "I KNOW that's right! Buck! Buck! Buck-aah!" Chloe clucked. I think Chloe and Zoey said those things just to make ME feel better about NOT doing that dare. They're definitely the BEST friends EVER! To vent our frustration, we played the "Chicken Dance" song and danced and clucked for 9 minutes. Afterwards, we just sat there staring at each other, wishing our lives were a lot more - I don't know - EXCITING or something.
It was strange because the more I thought about all the mean stuff Mackenzie had done to us, the more TICKED OFF I got. There's only so much public humiliation, vicious teasing, malicious gossip, ruthless sabotage and mean-girl backstabbing that a person can take. I'd had quite enough of people who went out of their way to make my life totally miserable. "People" being the snobby, shallow, evils girls like, um . . .MACKENZIE HOLLISTER! Calling her a "mean girl" is an understatement. She's a DOBERMAN in lip gloss and designer jeans. And for some reason, she HATES MY GUTS! Mackenzie having to clean up a few rolls of toilet paper is NOTHING compared to the very long list of horrible rotten things she's done to US. And she's hurt other people too. It was HER fault Brandon almost moved to Florida. "You know what, guys? I'm STILL pretty angry about Mackenzie locking us in that storage closet right before we were supposed to skate in the Holiday on Ice show!" I fumed. "Yeah! If she'd had her way, we'd still be in there!" Chloe griped. "Until someone found our skeletons!"
"You're right! And THAT was the last straw! I've changed my mind about the dare. I'm going to do it. But only if you guys come with me," I announced. "We've got your back, girlfriend!" Zoey said. "This isn't a dare anymore! It's PAYBACK! I'll get the toilet paper!" So right now I'm locked in Zoey's bathroom, writing all of this in my diary. And instead of doing the sleeping part of our sleepover, we've secretly planning the Great Toilet Paper Caper. The good news is Miss Thang (also known as Mackenzie) is FINALLY going to get just what SHE deserves!! The BAD news is IF my parents ever find out about this, I'M going to be DEAD MEAT! I can't believe it's only 37 minutes into the new year and I'm already FREAKING OUT. One thing is very clear. THIS year is going to have WAAAAAAY more DRAMA than LAST year.