Please help me, I don't know what to do.

Okay, say what you like about me causing drama. I'm not trying to, and I don't care. It's not my fault that these things keep happening to me and not anyone else. Since I'm one of the older users on here, I guess it's normal for things to happen to people of my age. It's unfair how we have to face things like these. I've always thought that death and illness were natural parts of life, but now that it's closer to me than I can ever imagine, I really can't be too sure anymore. Please help me.

Chapter 1

Dedicated to Camiran J. Smith

I don't even know whether I should be afraid or sad, but I just found out a shocking secret yesterday. One of my best friends, Camiran, or Cami, is dying from kidney disease. She has always had diabetes, and I never took it so seriously, because lots of people have diabetes. It surprises me a lot because she always appears to be so healthy and jumpy, forever on the move. Although she's not really athletic, she's still quite bouncy. She is also pretty overweight, though, and quite pale, especially her legs and her face. Yesterday we were at gymnastics. When we were getting changed, I saw that her stomach was pale yellow. I'm not kidding. Pale. Yellow. No exaggeration at all. Note that this was before she knew that she was dying.

I was kind of shocked, and I asked her what happened. She said that she didn't know either, and it started a while ago. She also said that she was going to get it checked up the next day, and she told me not to worry. The next day, on Friday, Arielle and I waited for her to come to school, but she never showed up. When we were going to the library at the end of the school day, we ran into her. She was just walking on the street, silently, like she had something in mind. I saw that she had been crying. We went to a coffee shop and we asked her what happened. Cami refused to tell us at first, but then she gave in. She told us that the doctor gave her a report, and it said that she was dying from long term kidney disease. Both Arielle and I were shocked and we didn't want to believe it. Then I related back to how I saw that her stomach was pale yellow the previous day, and I remembered how my mom had once told me that people suffering from kidney weaknesses and disease usually had pale yellow skin. Then everything started making sense. How she was overweight but she never ate any unhealthy food at all, how she had strangely coloured skin near her stomach, and her diabeters. It all made sense now.

I'm not trying to seek attention or anything. This is real, and happening right now. You can choose to believe it or not. I don't either, and I really don't want to. But the truth is there. Cami didn't come to school today either. She called me and said that she wanted to spend some time with her family. I knew that she was crying when she spoke, because I heard her sniffing on the other end.

Cami is such a great friend. Like Arielle, she is one of the few people in real life who really understood me. She doesn't judge me for who I am, and she is really friendly and encouraging to my sister, too. She is fiercely loyal, and she is kind in every single way. She has a super-soft heart, and people like her are rare in the community nowadays. She is a true friend, and I don't want to lose her. It feels like life is playing tricks on me on purpose. Just as I find a true friend like Cami who cares about me from the heart, life takes her away from me forever. I hate it, and it's just so unfair. I'm crying now. I don't care. I don't want to lose Cami to this stupid, stupid, stupid kidney disease that just had to happen to her. I'm terrified as well as sad. What can I do?

And, if there's anyone out there who's an expert about kidney disease, can you please explain more about it to me? The symptoms and the effects would be helpful to me at this moment. And thank you so much for clicking on this. It really shows that you care. Thank you so much. It's the most that I can ask for at this moment. Both Cami and I give heaps of thanks.


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